Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Comedy of errors

Warning: This is not a real blog, I just had a few minutes of FREE internet and thought I would make the most of it. Enjoy.

It came to my attention the other day that for the entire summer I have been mispelling the name of my favorite tree. Baobob is actually spelled baobab (it is still pronounced Baobob as in scott BAO and what about BOB). This error has weighed heavily on my conscience and I just had to make the correction.

In a related matter I have cancelled all of my flights and built an ark-sized dhow out of banana leaves, monkey spit, and zebra hair. I will travel in this vessel, manned by an able bodied crew of baboon and hippopotamus, from Dar Es Salaam to Mobile bay. The cargo of my precious ark will be Stanley, Livingstone, Bono, and Goolsby (this is for the little boy pants comment), which are the names of my favorite Baobab trees. I have uprooted them and will replant these trees with their house sized trunks in the following locations: Mobile, AL - Sandge Brinings back yard, Auburn, AL - Samford Lawn, Birmingam, AL - 2620 Niazuma Ave. Parking Lot, and finally my parents backyard in Crossville, AL (and hopefully CJ will not eat the tree). Afterward my ark dhow will be employed alongside my favorite sailboat Sundancer (which will be manned by a crew of Jarvii clones - this fake blog is full of inside jokes) in making the vision of Caribbean caravan a reality. The fleet will be commodored by the one and only Captain Jones (although there are two) and our journey will consist of an island hopping route between the Island of Freedom and Tobago.

Other news: Do you know the ninja (this is a terrible adjective) muslim women, the ones who cover every square inch of there body in black except for the eyes...well, I think that they have beautiful eyes and it is a shame that they look away everytime I make eye contact...that is all I have to say about that.

On Saturday I attended the university of Dar Es Salaam and had to fight a monkey for my backpack (this is kind of true). The university has 35000 students and to my knowledge no Wesley Foundation (Juuulius - if you are reading this, I think they could use you,....I could translate, maybe).

I am going to have to blog on Zanzibar but not yet, lets just say that its waters are every bit as spectacular as the electric blue lonely liar book picture showed. And here are the highlights of my voyage their - vomit (not mine), car wreck (maybe mine), a University of Alabama shirt, semi-true stories and a lot of things that I could never make up....coming soon, the Tale of the Spice Islands.

From Dar es Salaam, me being 100% healthy and happy, Good night and good luck.

War Eagle!



ps - Sorry for all of the monkey business, the baboon didn't like it either and I have pictures to prove it. this part is true.

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